Living life on your terms
One of the things that I’ve always aimed for in my coaching is to help people understand more about themselves and live more of life on their terms.
From a young age, we are taught that we need to learn more, be more, and be different to how we are. We’re moulded to being a certain way to fit into society. Whilst I can understand that to an extent, I also believe we were all born with unique qualities and strengths that deserve to be nurtured. We don’t always need to be striving for more. We don’t always need to be trying to get better. We just need to make sure that we’re living the life that we were born to do.
And I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself following the societal norms (it’s easier to just fit in, right?) and realising that actually this isn’t what I want to do. I remember being massively in awe of one of my closest friends at school and college who was an A* student but didn’t want to go to university so she didn’t. I loved her confidence in doing what was right for her. It was just expected that anyone who got good grades would go to university to get a degree. But that’s not the right path for everyone.
Which path do you want to take?
There are loads of expectations placed upon us. To have a career. To have a partner. To have a house (and a mortgage). To drive and have your own car. To have children. To have savings. To be interested in popular music and TV. To be an early bird. To be busy. To be productive. To be a good cook. To enjoy exercising. To go on a summer holiday once a year. I could go on.
And whilst many of these may well be true for many people in society, not necessarily all of them are. And we get to choose what we want for our lives.
In my work, I help people identify what it is that they want to be doing in their life and how to do it. I’m really passionate about this.
But guess what?
I wasn’t listening to my own advice 🙈
One of the things that is really important in my life, but is something I’ve only realised in the last 5 to 10 years, is to travel. I love exploring new places. Often I do this on my own, though sometimes I go with other people. I usually find last minute bargains - I’ve been on cruises and various short trips just because I found out about deals a week or two beforehand. I work whilst travelling - most of my work can be done from anywhere and I’m often a lot more productive when I’m in new places as it brings an element of creativity and gives me the headspace to think differently. Plus, it fills me with joy - I just want to see more of the world.
Travelling doesn’t necessarily fit with some of the aspects to my lifestyle (I don’t have a diabetic cat who needs injecting every 12 hours anymore but I do have a cat, and a home, and family and friends nearby who I like to see on a fairly regular basis). It’s different from most of the people around me - my family and friends are mostly people who really enjoy being at home. It’s very different from the life I used to lead too; I have worked predominantly from home since 2010 and rarely went anywhere outside of work travel. So it’s easy for me to forget how important travel is to me and to default into old habits. It’s not necessarily even a conscious thing. And there’s the societal message that travel is an expensive luxury only for the rich and carefree.
Last week I managed to notice what had been going on. I’d been listening to the societal script of saving money and staying home and working at a desk and planning future holidays rather than getting out and about now. And then I found out about a bargain flight to Majorca and realised accommodation was a bargain too.
So I booked a 2-day trip to Palma (not quite immediately, I did give myself 24hrs to decide!).
On the flight at stupid o clock on Monday morning - genuinely couldn’t contain my excitement!
I booked in the early hours of Thursday and left in the early hours of Monday. It was AMAZING. I felt alive. I did some focused work during my flights and in my hotel room, and did my work calls from Palma, and everything worked brilliantly. I worked for about 10 hours on Monday and about 7 hours on Tuesday (loads more than I would do at home!). Whilst also visiting a castle, a cathedral, a beach, going for a hike, sampling various different food and drink options, and just generally exploring.
I need to do this more. I felt so alive, and the effects impacted me positively before and after too. I’m hoping that by sharing these sorts of things, I’ll remember this and keep travelling.
What does living life on your terms mean for you?
What are you holding back from?
What do you want more of (or less of) in life?
What gets you excited?
My online community, TLC, helps you work this out if you’re not sure, and helps you keep you on track once you know. It was this, combined with my Design Your Life programme, that helped me realise I’d gone a bit off track and what I needed to do to get back on track.
Want to try out TLC? Come and join us for a TLC session - your first session is free and there are various dates you can join us. Book to come along as a guest and start living life on your terms.